Random Bits (and now Kids Say the Darndest Things Fridays)

Today, we were driving into the Wal-Mart parking lot. Caroline asked, "Mommy, why is it called Wal-Mart?" I answered, " The man who started the very first Wal-Mart had the last name of WALton." Then, as we drove past Sam's in the same parking lot, I added, "And his first name was Sam," and pointed out the window at the Sam's building. Caroline, without missing a beat, said, "And maybe his middle name was MARTin!"

My brother's dog, Dutch, had to have a toe amputated because of a tumor. I told Caroline that he had his foot wrapped in a bandage. Caroline asked, "Well, when do we get to see the spot where the toe used to be?" Eeeeww!

Caroline and Cecilia have several stuffed Chick-fil-A cows that have made their way into our house... I think it is funny that they have named two of them "Squashy" and "Pooey."

Cecilia's sophisticated speech continues to amaze me. She's not quite 26 months old, and she says complex sentences like, "When we get home, may I do rice, Mommy?" ["Do rice" means she wants to play with the bin of dried rice... I call it "doing rice."] She uses most pronouns correctly, which is weird for her age. Of course there are still some cute things she says, like, "I not have" instead of "I don't have," but there are not too many of the quirky little sayings. She is also learning about voice inflection, and if I say something to her, she will often repeat it with a questioning tone of voice. She noticed a vaporizer in the bathroom cabinet today and said, "That's another potty." I told her, "That isn't a potty - it is called a vaporizer." She replied, "Vaporizer? Vapor? Rizer?" Hee hee. And she will make the most serious facial expressions when she is trying to explain something... one of the cute things she still does is try to explain "why" about things... she has circular reasoning, such as "Daddy is not wearing shoes because Daddy not have shoes on." Any time she says "because," she is likely to repeat herself in a a slightly different way.

Caroline eating animal crackers: "Oh, I can't hear my friends!" (after biting off the ears) "Oh no, now I can't see my brothers and sisters, help!" (after biting off the head) "Oh, now I can't walk!" (after biting off the legs)

Cecilia, as I wipe her face off after a meal: "Don't wipe my eyes!!!" She also likes to warn people, "Don't fall in the potty!"

Today, Cecilia was holding a stuffed animal and said to me, "This is Kanga." I asked her, "What kind of animal is Kanga?" She looked at it and responded, "Stuffed."

And a few photos:

Here are our Sorrowful Mysteries pictures, colored by Caroline and me... we hung them over the fireplace to refer to while we pray the Sorrowful Mysteries during Lent.

The girls and I all wearing aprons... I put one on, and the girls dug theirs out of their dress-up clothes so we could all match!

Please, Hold and Touch your Babies and Toddlers!

The more technology expands, the less time we spend holding and touching our infants and young children. The more affluence, the bigger our living spaces, and the more "stuff" we can afford to buy which can be used to replace human touch.

I thought of this as I observed two separate incidents recently. The first was a tiny baby, I'd say a few months old at the most, in a bucket car seat being carried by the father. The baby began to cry, and the father began to swing the seat a bit in an attempt to soothe the baby. The second event I noticed was a two year old walking along behind his mother as she was about to drop him off in his mothers; morning out class... she said to him, "No, I can't carry you. You're too heavy!" I should note that this was not an above-average sized child. ;)

So, with the baby gadgets, we have material objects to try to soothe babies: I have seen people push/jiggle strollers, rock car seats with their feet, attempt to stuff pacifiers in protesting mouths, swings restarted repeatedly, vibrators on bouncy seats turned on... Now, I should clarify that sometimes these items can provide a break for a tired pair of arms, and sometimes if both baby and parent are beyond frazzled, a baby may be soothed by one of these gadgets while the parent regains composure. I am not talking about using these things in moderation; I am referring to their frequent use as a first resort. Baby starts crying, and rather than picking her up as the first attempt to soothe her, mechanically and detachedly start swinging the seat she is in: that is what I am referring to here.

With the parents not wanting to hold their young children and carry them... I think that may be more of a symptom of the early foisting of "independence" on small children. "He can walk, can't he?" I have heard people say to parents carrying their 1, 2, and 3 year olds. And the same people who make their toddlers walk "because they can, so they should" are the ones who expect immediate obedience when they give verbal commands. One year olds are not going to all stay away from dangerous things if left down on the floor to walk on their own! They need to be helped, and sometimes carrying them is the best option, and the quickest! I know somebody whose son was delayed in walking... he was around a year and a half when he began to walk on his own. She carried him in a soft carrier on her back very frequently. She actually had people tell her, "He'd learn to walk faster if you'd stop carrying him like that." The child had a physical delay, and they blamed her for carrying him! What would these same people say to a parent whose child is delayed in walking yet he is not carried around in a back carrier at all?? There was also an article I read where the mother repeatedly was asked about her toddler on her back, "Oh, doesn't that hurt your back? How can you manage to carry him there like that?" yet, pre-child, his woman frequently carried a large, 20some pound backpack as she walked around town (this was somewhere in Europe, as I recall), and she never had anyone ask her, "Oh, isn't that so heavy? Doesn't that hurt your back?" But seeing a child there - one who should not be "coddled," who should be walking or in a stroller (in the minds of many) - evoked a strong response from people, because in their minds, a one or two year old should not be carried very much.

So, all this got me to thinking about the average hours spent by most babies and toddlers in physical contact with their parents or other adult caregivers. Touch, as we have learned, has many benefits. The growing brain needs human touch in order to grow and form connections well in the first three years in particular. In light of this, we could conclude that touch is a need for babies and toddlers. The fact that we are a carrying species (designed to hold our young) and our babies take longer than any other animals to develop the motor skills necessary to walk and care for themselves shows that we were designed to be in close contact with adult humans in our earliest years.

So for a baby or toddler who is sleeping alone and is either sleeping straight through the night or is being left alone to be "sleep-trained," that is 10-12 hours without touch, and another few hours during the day if the baby takes naps alone... then, if the same child is frequently left in car seats, swings, bouncy seats, on the floor, etc., then that is more time with no human contact. How about the baby or toddler who is in child care several hours a week (where I observed that babies do not get the same amount of touch as their parents would tend to give)? Left in the church nursery and with babysitters weekly? Every hour that is added in makes for less touch from the parents. How about the baby who is frequently riding around in the car, and the car seat is transferred from car to shopping cart to stroller to car, and the baby isn't in-arms from the time the parent leaves the house until the time they return to the house? Even things like disposable diapers, which can be left on longer than cloth before they would begin leaking, cause the parents to have to touch the child less. Some parents may say, "Oh, but I talk to them, make eye contact with them when they are in the seat as I push them around in the shopping cart, etc." That is good. Better that than facing their seat away from you, sure. But that does not discount the fact that babies need human touch in order to develop, and that there is no substitute for touch. No amount of talking to a baby is going to make up for a lack of physical touch, especially given that young babies cannot even understand what you are saying to them. They want to feel right, and human touch, especially the mother's, feels right to them. It is how they were designed biologically.

And then as babies get older... how about the baby who is bottle-fed and is allowed to carry the bottle around with him, feeding himself? He has lost feeding times as a time of human contact. He will want to begin exploring his environment more, and begin crawling and walking and running... and all this leads to less time in physical contact with his parents. Yes, he is choosing to do these things; it is part of his development and is good. But if this same child already has no human touch all night long, no human touch at naptime because he is placed in a crib and then left with no rocking or nursing or cuddling first, no contact during feedings (there are reasons the breast was naturally designed to not be detachable, and this is one of them! ;)... then when is he getting human touch? At diaper changes six times a day? As his parents lift him into a car seat or high chair or into the bathtub? Maybe some reading time together in which the child sits on the parent's lap, I hope? But an on-the-go one year old may not be getting the human touch he was designed for, because he is busy during the day and then separated from his parents at night, weaned from the breast early... personally, that is one of the most important things to me about "extended" nursing: my toddler still gets touch and holding, guaranteed, even on the busiest days, because she still nurses, I still hold her and nurse her to sleep, and she still sleeps with us for part of each night. I don't have to consciously consider if I am giving her enough human touch.

So, nothing really new in this post, nothing profound... I just hadn't ever thought about breaking down the hours that a baby or toddler spends in physical contact with his parents. It is kind of surprising, actually... and just thinking about my own 25 month old, I am sure she spends less time in physical contact with me than I would think at first glance (hmm, somewhere between 5-8 hours out of 24, maybe - and most of those are spent with both of us asleep!)... and yet, how many babies and toddlers spend far less time than she?

Resources:

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html

http://www.psywww.com/intropsych/ch10_development/importance_of_touch.html

http://library.adoption.com/articles/the-importance-of-touch.html

http://parenting.amuchbetterway.com/importance-of-bonding-and-touch/

From the Peaceful Parenting blog...

...this short and sweet gem of a post which breaks down the numbers for us in comparing the statistics between intact and circumcised infants. It shows clearly that it is more risky to put a newborn through cosmetic genital surgery than to leave him intact. This is not something the doctor will hand to you on a piece of paper before cutting your son, but it seems to me that something like this should be included in the consent form that parents sign before the surgery is done!!

And I stumbled across this article discussing the differences between a religious (Jewish) circumcision in Biblical times vs. the medically done ones of today, and how they don't compare at all.

And finally, I discovered in this post that the American Academy of Family Physicians does not consider breastfeeding to be "extended" until the child turns 2! Yay for them!! They even say that "anything less brings about detrimental consequences." Very good of them to have a clear statement on it - now why don't more of their doctors read their statements? ;)

All this from the Peaceful Parenting blog... I have found that this is a great source for info regarding babies. One could spend months digging through the posts and all the references and citations and links just on circumcision alone!

Random Bits

Cecilia, sitting next to me at the table, looked at her finger today and said, "It has red." I looked, and her finger was covered in red liquid - I thought she must have gotten a marker and broken the tip or something. Then I realized she was holding the hand-held pencil sharpener - also covered in red liquid - in the other hand. She had sharpened her thumb. And she wasn't even upset about it! I washed it, put on peroxide ("brown bottle," as Caroline calls it), and a ban-aid with Neosporin - and only a few whimpers. Sure hope she doesn't do that again! Bad Mommy for having the pencil sharpener in her reach!

Hot chocolate, newly-delivered Girl Scout cookies, and Forrest Gump... sounds like a great combo, huh? Except when you can't find your Forrest Gump video. Maybe you never owned one to begin with and are just thinking of the copy at your parents' house. Or maybe you borrowed their copy and lost it. Or maybe you're just losing your mind. ;)

So, Caroline (who is very good at identifying Toyota Highlanders, which Gramma drives) saw this car out the window while we were driving and said, "Look, that's the same car as Grampa has!"

Grampa really drives a Buick LaCross, ha ha! ;)

Today we were at a non-Catholic wedding, held in a chapel at a local college campus. Cecilia immediately asked me, "Where's the red candle?" when I pointed out the pretty candles lit at the front of the church. Then she demanded, "Where's the cross??" Uhhh... I looked around quickly and found a window at the back that was shaped like a cross and pointed it out to her. She seemed satisfied with that, yet a bit confused...

The night before, we attended Stations of the Cross at our parish, and it was done by the youth group... they stood at the front and did a sort of "freeze frame" pose for each station. For each transition between stations, they would turn the lights all the way down, at which point Cecilia would yell out, "I can't see Jesus! I can't see Jesus!" Then they covered his face with a black cloth as they did the 14th station, Jesus is Laid in the Tomb. So then she was yelling, "I can't see Jesus's face!!"

And as a funny related note, both girls have noticed that when we are at church in the evening, the stained glass windows are dark - since no light is shining through them from outside. Both of them say that the "windows are off" at night!

This morning, as I was eating a bowl of cereal with milk, I noticed that it tasted slightly... off. In fact, it tasted a bit alcoholic. I couldn't figure it out until I ate one of the frozen blueberries all by itself that I'd put in the cereal... did you know that frozen blueberries can start to ferment, somehow? I wonder if they'd gotten partially defrosted or something? The girls ate them up like crazy... eww. Won't be giving them any more now that I got it figured out!

Speaking of alcohol, we had macaroni and cheese, grilled bratwurst, and Guinness for dinner tonight. Okay, so the girls didn't have any Guinness, especially after their alcoholic blueberries earlier in the day... I wonder if that is okay, drinking Guinness with bratwurst? The reason we have Irish beer in the house is because St. Patrick's Day is next week. Hmm, maybe we'll have bratwurst again on Pope Benedict's birthday coming up in April, and with a real German beer then!

I got some fleece from the fabric store today so I can try to sew some cloth diaper doublers for Cecilia... I bought orange and blue fleece s she can have Florida Gator colored doublers. Now to decide what kind of material to put inside... old cotton t-shirt material, maybe?

Of final note, we might get to go visit some old friends this coming weekend with a trip to Illinois to meet them! Please pray that Chris won't have jury duty all week so that we can go on Friday!

Making Pretzels (Successfully!)

We made whole wheat pretzels today, and we didn't catch the oven on fire - success! And a double success... both the girls loved the pretzels! Last year, neither of them really liked them much... too gummy for Cecilia, I think... but this time, they both ate a whole pretzel for an afternoon snack. Here's our recipe:

Whole Grain Pretzels

from the King Arthur Whole Grains cookbook

Dough

1 3/4 cups whole wheat flour

1 cup water, at room temp

1 T soft butter

1 1/2 cups unbleached bread flour

1 1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp instant yeast

1 tsp barley malt extract (syrup or dried) - I used molasses this time

Water bath

8 cups water (I used 10)

2 T baking soda

Glaze

1 egg beaten w/ 1 T water and a pinch of salt

Kosher salt and/or seeds for topping

Mix the whole wheat flour w/ the cup of water and let sit, covered, for 20 minutes. Stir in butter, bread flour, salt, yeast, and barley malt extract (I did this with the dough hook on my stand mixer). Knead until smooth and elastic. Cover and let rise until doubled, about 1.5 hrs.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Grease two baking sheets or line w/ parchment paper. Make the water bath by pouring the water in a wide pot and placing it over high heat to boil.

Divide the dough into eight equal pieces and roll into ropes about 1/2 inch thick (hard to get them this thin, in my experience). The cookbook suggests letting the ropes rest halfway through rolling, so maybe that would help... I didn't have time for that! Shape into pretzels.

When water is boiling, turn it down to a simmer and add the baking soda. Carefully drop the pretzels into the simmering water, cooking about three at a time. The pretzels will expand quickly and dramatically. let cook about a minute or two, then use a slotted spatula or spoon to transfer to the baking sheets.

Brush each pretzel with egg wash and sprinkle with salt and/or seeds. Bake about 12-15 minutes until well-browned. Best when served warm.

Caroline helped me roll and shape them while Cecilia was napping... and then both girls sprinkled on coarse salt after the pretzels took their "bath" in boiling water before going into the oven.

Caroline wanted some of them to be shaped like fish... so here's the attempt at that.

And here's the attempt at the traditional shape. How does one roll pretzel dough out thin and long enough so that it can be made into the pretzel shape without looking like these do? Anyone know? The dough is so elastic that it gets to a point when I cannot make the ropes any thinner.

Yummy!! We will be making these again during Lent for sure!

"Going Green"

We hear this term all the time lately. For some, it is just the trendy thing to say and do, it seems. For others, it means "environmentalist." Depending on how that term is used, it can have political agendas attached to it. When used in this extreme way, it can include the overpopulation crowd, the ones who think we are ruining the world by reproducing and that we should stop. In truth, we have plenty of land and resources for everyone and then some.

Because of the stigmas attached to it (at least in my mind!), I don't like to refer to myself as an "environmentalist" or one who has "gone green." I don't live my life the way I do because it is popular to do so or because it is on my political agenda. In reading the side of a box of organic crackers recently, I realized that the information on the box was all about "save the earth, make a sustainable future (what does that mean, anyway? Can anyone explain?), help conserve," etc. Nothing really about the fact that eating organic and all-natural foods is better for a person's health. And that is the primary reason I buy all-natural foods!

As a high schooler, I might have identified myself as an "environmentalist." I was known to say, "Hey, recycle that!" when a friend would throw a Coke can in the garbage and to try to make a "recycle bag" at parties so that everyone could throw their cans in it instead of in the trash. I even had a bumper sticker on my car that said, "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Restore." My husband later admitted that he though I might be an enviro-nutjob at first because of that sticker, ha ha!

Now, since then I have heard that it actually takes more energy and resources to recycle aluminum cans than it does to make brand-new ones. Is that really true? Anyone know?

Anyway, my point... Just looking at my lifestyle, a lot of people might consider me to be an environmentalist, I think. In fact, I am probably a much more pure example of somebody who is using resources wisely than the leaders of the political environmentalist groups, like Al Gore (I don't have multiple huge houses, a private jet, or ride around in an SUV!). It is ironic that they preach all these things about using less energy and such, but they don't do it themselves! Are they expecting all the lower classes to take care of it for them while they don't make an effort other than telling other people what to do?

So, in comparing my life with the lives of those who claim to be "environmentalists," I came up with these things and the reasons for why I do them. Yes, I do believe in using resources in a responsible way, not just wasting stuff for no reason, but I also believe that God gave us these resources to use. But in looking at the things I do, nearly all of them are because they are healthier for our family or they save us money.

~Food~

• Buying all-natural and organic products. I do this as our budget allows, taking advantage of sales and buying in bulk and freezing some. I don't buy much processed food at all, and the things that could be considered "processed" are usually all-natural still. So, less packaging, more support for organic farmers, less pesticides used... but the most important reason I buy these foods is because they are healthier for my family.
• Backyard Chickens. We have five chickens in the backyard, and they provide us with all the eggs we need (and then some!). They also are fun for the kids. So, less waste there due to not purchasing egg cartons, the pollution associated with their mass production, plus they keep the grass short in the backyard (their coop is moveable so they are sort of "free-ranging" and eventually get to most parts of the whole yard) and so the lawn won't need to be mowed as often and less pollution there... but we have the hens because the eggs are fresher and healthier. Over a long time, they might be cheaper as well. And they are fun!!
• Buying local beef. We have a college nearby that raises their own cows and has them processed locally, one at a time. I buy from them whenever possible, and it is about they same price and often cheaper than buying the "Laura's Beef" at the grocery store. Did you know that ground beef from the store is made up from thousands of different cows in each package??? Eeeew! This way, we know exactly where our beef comes from. The cows are partially grass-fed too, so better quality meat. So, we do this for health as well.
• Shopping at Trader Joe's. This is my favorite store ever because all their products are all-natural and they are all CHEAP! I also do a bit of shopping at the local health food store, and a tiny bit of shopping at Whole Foods when I am near one... but that is much rarer because it costs SO much!
• Breastfeeding, and volunteering as a breastfeeding support leader. I avoid (and help others avoid) buying formula (think of all the cows, all the farmland, all the packaging, all the advertising materials that go into this!), bottles, artificial nipples, the water and soap used to wash all these things daily, and I use something that is completely free of cost instead - breastfeeding! I do this because I know breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby, it is less healthy to not breastfeed, and because it saves money!
• Not buying baby food. I don't use it, at all. My babies eat what we eat, once they are ready to start eating solid foods. They don't need purees, rice cereal, juice, and so on. They can handle soft foods, mashed a bit if you'd like, and it is healthier for them because they are eating fresh foods that are closer to their normal, natural state that they will be eating them in when they are older anyway. But think of how many baby food containers one might use if doing baby food daily - a lot!! And they don't just make them in glass jars anymore... many are in plastic. Perhaps people who use baby food do recycle all these containers, but I'd be willing to wager than many of them get tossed in the trash.
• Vegetable Garden. We have been doing this in the backyard about three years now, and we try to do it organically/naturally. We don't always have good success with it, but we keep trying. Tomatoes do pretty well, and our figs and blueberries are wonderful!

~Clothes~

• Shopping at consignment sales. I rarely buy new clothing for my children. I get their clothes used and pay a fraction of the price. I just got most of my almost 5 yr old's spring and summer wardrobe for about $50 total. My 2 year old wears all the older child's old clothing. This would lead to less production waste associated with making new clothing, and then throwing them away afterward rather than passing them on to other children. The clothes are just as good and much cheaper, and while they might not be the "latest fashions," that is not important to me. Some of the latest fashions are pretty ugly, if you ask me, ha ha!
• Using less detergent. I only use a half scoop of detergent for a full load of clothing. I'm cheap like that. And the scent is a bit too strong to use a full scoop, anyway. The clothes still get clean. And no fabric softener.
• Hanging laundry to dry. I only use the dryer for sheets, towels, placemats, rags, diapers, and some of the underwear/socks (in other words, linens and undergarments). Everything else hangs to dry. This extends the life of our clothing, and it saves us money on electricity, which are our reasons for doing it. And it saves electricity in general, but that is not why we do it!
• Using cloth diapers. This is done because we are cheap. Disposable diapers are expensive, especially name brands! We do use them some, for going out places, but at home, we use cloth. They are also supposedly better for the baby because they don't have chemicals in them, but we use them for the money savings. Disposable diapers take an incredibly long time to biodegrade, and think of how many the average baby uses in two or three years! Another thing: did you know that disposable diaper packages say to dump the waste into the toilet rather than not throwing it away with the diaper? And how many people do we know who actually do this? So all that human waste is going in the garbage as well... eeeeww! With cloth, you have to dump as much as possible in the toilet because you don't want it in your washing machine!
• Washcloths instead of paper towels. Both for cleaning the sink/counters and cleaning the kids after messy meals! Less paper towels in the garbage, more money saved for us! The money savings is the primary reason here... you can get a pack of four baby washcloths for a dollar.

~Transportation~

• Scooter. My husband bought a scooter to ride to work when it isn't too cold. Those things get great gas mileage. He bought it because it would save us on gas money. But it also happens to be "greener."
• Smallest minivan on the road. This is what I drive, a Mazda minivan. It is more efficient than many larger minivans. We bought it on eBay. I am serious.
• Buying used cars. We never buy new cars, or even close-to-new. They are much cheaper after a few years' depreciation, and while maybe this means they are slightly less environmentally-friendly as far as pollution goes, we are "reusing," and therefore there's no waste associated with production.

~Hygiene and Health~

• Not using birth control. My reasons for doing this are mostly moral ones, but also for my personal health. But the impact of hormonal birth control on the environment is huge... the chemicals are getting into our drinking water (I will spare you the details of how). Again - eeeeewww! And fish in some waterways have even mutated sexually due to high levels of these artificial hormones - scary!
• Bathing. Bet you might be thinking I will say, "We limit baths to one per week." Ha ha... maybe if I was a bona-fide hippie, but alas, I shower pretty much daily. But the kids - they only get baths every two or three days, especially in the winter, because they just don't get stinky. But we use mostly natural soaps and shampoos on the children, because I have concerns about too much exposure to chemicals... but then these also don't get washed down the drain if we're not using them, so the environment wins yet again. For myself and my husband, though, we just use whatever is cheapest or has been given to us... I'm more careful with the kids than myself, and maybe I shouldn't be, but there you have it. Oh, and the same goes for toothpaste - as natural as I can afford for the kids.

~General~

• Household cleaning. We use vinegar and water to clean most everything. I am out of vinegar now and am using a "green" product that I had a sample of. I do this because I don't want my kids around weird chemicals (they like to help with cleaning!).
• Turning the thermostat down. We turn it down (or up, depending on the season) before leaving the house for extended periods. We also run it at 68-69 degrees in the winter and 78-79 degrees in the summer. Not super-comfortable some hot days, but it saves lots of money. And electricity/gas.
• Recycling. We do this because the city has made it very convenient for us. They take it all, sort it all, and we just have to leave it on a bin on the side of the road. They recently stopped taking glass, which is odd... but it is so easy to do, so why not?
• Limiting purchases of "stuff." I do this because I don't want my kids to think they have to have lots of material things to make them happy. They just need some good-quality toys and not hundreds of things. This is especially true of babies and the amount of baby gear that is marketed to new parents today - babies are not expensive until they get bigger and start eating lots of food! They don't need five different apparatuses to sit in and oodles of toys. I also don't like clutter. If it is not useful or beautiful, it needs to go. I am in the slow process of going through everything right now so we don't have as much, and we will "Freecycle" it, which is when you list it online and strangers come haul it away for you.
• Not being excessive. We live in a modest home. A house that is too large can make family members become strangers to each other. I grew up with six people in a three bedroom house, and I'm no worse for it. We don't each need to have our own bedroom, our own bathroom, our own TV, brand-new things for everybody, a bunch of separate toys for the girls, etc. We can share. Sharing is good.
• Homeschooling. This is primarily environmentally-friendly in that in cuts down on resources that are bought by the government (who is known for their non-efficiency and waste). Some school districts use $10,000 for each student per year! No way will I be able to do that myself! So we will be buying used and designing some curriculum ourselves. Oh and there is the extra transportation involved in going to a traditional school... we won't be contributing to that daily. Of course I am not homeschooling to help the environment, and I doubt that is anyone else's main reason either - just thought I'd mention it!

So, there is probably more that I'm not thinking of... but we do these things because they are better for our bodies and because some are financially better for us, not because we are environmentalists. I do think it is ironic to compare this to what a self-proclaimed "environmentalist" would do... I doubt Al Gore hangs most of his clothes to dry and cooks most of his meals from scratch, ya know? Oh well, somebody has to be good for the economy, I guess! ;)

The Contraceptive Mentality

Very good post here by Elizabeth about the "contraceptive mentality." She dissects what is meant by the phrase and how it has become almost second nature in our culture, and the irony of how it is actually seen as "responsible." She brings up two important concepts: that babies are viewed as both commodities (as in, something to be obtained whenever you choose and at whatever number you desire) and rights (meaning you can go to any means to obtain one).

She also links to this article, which makes this point:

"Contraception is the prevention by mechanical or chemical means of the possible natural and procreative consequence of sexual intercourse, namely, conception. The purpose of contraception is to separate intercourse from procreation so that the contracepting partners can enjoy the pleasures of sex without the discomforting fear that their sexual activity could lead to the procreation of another human being. The "contraceptive mentality" results when this separation of intercourse from procreation is taken for granted and the contracepting partners feel that, in employing contraception, they have severed themselves from all responsibility for a conception that might take place as a result of contraceptive failure. Somewhat ironically, this practice of using contraception to relinquish responsibility for one's own offspring is, in the minds of many, consistent with "being responsible" and even with "responsible parenting."² At any rate, the "contraceptive mentality" implies that a couple have not only the means to separate intercourse from procreation, but the right or responsibility as well."

Many people don't realize there is a link between contraception and abortion. In fact, many think that greater access to contraception decreases the number of abortions. But the exact opposite is true. A mentality that conception can be "controlled" has led to people absolving themselves of responsibility, which leads to a less-receptive mentality regarding babies who were "unplanned." I hate that term - "unplanned." What gets to me even more is when perfect strangers will ask a woman if her pregnancy was "planned." As if it should make a difference! As if we are really in control rather than God! Pregnant women with a "large" number of children (meaning as few as 3 sometimes) seem to get this question more: "Oh, I see you have three children already. Was this one planned?" The question makes me feel a bit sick to the stomach. It is as if they may as well be asking, "Oh, do you want this baby? Are you welcoming of its existence?"

Contraception makes an attempt at removing responsibility. And when you remove responsibility, you can choose to behave irresponsibly - in fact, you are more likely to do so. When we put "quick fixes" in place of responsibility, then we suffer, as there are no true quick fixes to anything in life. Life is too complex for a quick fix. Stemming from the removal of sexual responsibility are viewpoints such as what President Obama said - that he didn't want his daughters "to be punished with a baby" if they made poor decisions. Most people would say that's why contraception is a good thing - that the teens who might have abortions could use it to just prevent pregnancy in the first place. But that is not what happens here - contraceptives give teens even more of an "invincible" mentality. They are more likely to engage in risky behaviors if they think they are "safe," yet they are also more likely to slip up and not use the contraceptives as they were designed to be used, resulting in more contraceptive "failure." Or they may choose to skip using contraceptives sometimes too, because they now have a more promiscuous attitude as part of their mentality, and a more "it won't happen to me" attitude as well.

And how about the question of, "Are you done?" Meaning, are you done having children? I always answer this with, "I can never answer that question." At least not until post-menopause, that is! ;) Even for a couple with the most dire reasons for avoiding pregnancy (life-threatening medical conditions for the mother, terminal illnesses of other family members, mental instability of one of the parents...), there is always the chance that one day, their circumstances will change and they may discern that they are able to welcome more children into their family. It's a "never say never" attitude, which is why the "are you done?" question is offensive. Along the same lines is when people say, "Oh, we're done. No more children for us." How about, "We're done for now, but we never know what God might have in store for us," or something along those lines? We are not in control!

As a subset, use of the pill has the potential to cause early abortions. When the pill "fails" at preventing conception, it can prevent the newly-conceived life from continuing. This is the first clue to us that contraception and abortion are intrinsically linked.

Contraceptive use is a band-aid. It tries to fix something instead of finding the root cause and treating it at that point. Teaching chastity and abstinence - and yes, that includes within marriage; marriage does not mean you are free to be as sexually promiscuous with your spouse as you please - would address this at its root. Teaching people to have respect for their bodies and for other people - what is wrong with that? It would be shaping society for the good instead of just addressing the evils. Prevention is key - preventing the mentality in the first place, which prevents other issues. Another quote from the DeMarco article on this:

"It is far more logical and realistic to revolutionize society by teaching men to be virtuous, since virtue is a perfection of something natural, than it is to effect the same revolution by being indifferent to virtue and trying to suppress the evil consequences of men's vices through technological interventions. This is not to say that virtue or civilized society come easily; in fact, their achievement demands the development and pooling of every gift men have (and then some). But it is to say that it is the only way that is logical and realistic. It was the essential insight of Huxley, Orwell, and others that the amoral technological approach produces a dehumanized social nightmare."

Planned Parenthood promotes contraception for a reason - and maybe they don't all realize it; maybe they solely promote it because of the "population control" idea, but it is also good for their business. It is good for their business to keep people in the contraceptive mentality, because it generates more money for PP. When contraceptives fail, then PP is there to offer the next step - abortion.

I would venture to say that most married couples who use methods of contraception and sterilization do so with good intents. The vast majority of them are blissfully unaware of the contraceptive mentality or even of the fact that the pill can cause abortions. Those who are aware of all this may say, "Well, that doesn't apply to me. Even if my birth control failed, I still wouldn't have an abortion." Very true - I realize that many, if not most (I hope), married people would continue with an unintended pregnancy. But this does not change the whole contraceptive mentality and what it is doing and has done to our culture as a whole. That is one reason why I refuse to have any part in it. Being aware of it is the first step. Deciding you don't want to separate what God naturally put together is the next step. Sex is not meant solely for pleasure and unity between two people, but that is what it is reduced to when it is sterilized. This doesn't mean that procreation has to occur with every sex act, either - God built in natural periods of infertility in a woman's cycle. God Himself placed those there, whereas man invented contraception to be used in complete opposition to the natural fertility of women.

I love to read about and discuss this topic, so if anyone has any questions or knows of good links, feel free to leave them in the comments! It is a subject with much depth, so it can take some time to digest. It didn't stick with me the first time I heard it... the beauty and truth of it all came later for me, after really doing the reading and learning on it at a personal level.

And here's the link again to the article.

Random Bits

Cecilia sings the ABCs:

"A, B, C, B, F and G, H, I, N, O, P, Q, R, S, Y and Z, Now I know my A, B, C, B, F and G, H, I, N, O, P, Q, R, S, Y and Z, Now I know my A, B, C, B, F and G..."

[This is the song that never ends....]

So, while parked at my mom's preschool while in Atlanta, birds pooped on our cars:

LOTS of birds!!! They must have been sitting in the trees above the parking lot for a long, long, long time! My mom had noticed how huge the flocks of birds were there while outside, so we put two and two together... and thanked God they weren't in the trees while we were getting in or out of our cars, ha ha! Now, I was parked about FOUR spaces down from my mom's car. She called a co-worker who was parked in between us, and sure enough, her car was also covered in it. I drove through a car wash on the way back home that afternoon, and it still didn't get it all... awesome husband washed the rest off himself this afternoon. I love him. :) <3

And, more testament to the stupidity of my parents' cats (as if any more proof were needed):

Gabby perching on the edge of the upended mattress that I brought for Cecilia to sleep on.

Mason perching on my dad. She did this every time he sat down. She likes kneading his sweaters, and my mom's fuzzy bathrobe. Weirdo.

So, lots of photos to go with my random thoughts this week... I took a lot of them with my phone recently. Here is a sight never before seen in the history of Wal-Mart...

An EMPTY middle aisle!!! No huge displays of junk taking up the middle of the aisle, causing even more traffic jams than would occur otherwise in a typically-crowded Wal-Mart. This was also at 10:00 in the morning, so it was practically an empty field, just asking to be frolicked about in... okay, not really, although there was a baby we saw crawling across it, noticing the new wide expanse. I regret to report though, that today, there were things back in the middle of the aisle again... but not completely. I have a feeling I have witnessed something as rare as Halley's comet appearing...

In Atlanta, we went to the children's museum downtown one morning, so here are some poor-quality photos of the girls enjoying their time in the museum:

playing in water

shopping with stuffed chickens (as if they don't hang out around chickens enough, they were hoarding the stuffed ones in the play grocery/farm area)

And I said I wouldn't put this on my blog, but I was offloading a bunch of photos off my phone, so I couldn't resist. One of my Eagle Scout brothers who will remain unnamed did this:

See how two candle wicks were lit? That was my doing with a lighter, which ran out of fluid before I got to the third wick. Now, my dad had just bought a three pack of lighters for some reason, but my brother decided instead to light a piece of paper from one of the already-lit wicks. Then the paper charred up and fel, still lit, into the candle, but didn't light the wick. Once we used one of the new lighters, the candle smelled wonderful!

Okay, this is something I saw in a store and I just thought it was weird... don't have any other comments about it:

Caroline said to me yesterday, "Mommy, we're playing hopscotch. I'm learning Cecilia how."

I don't understand those people who bring their dogs with them everywhere and then leave them in their cars in parking lots. What is the point in bringing a dog to sit in your parked car?? Well, this dog got revenge:

Unfortunately, seeing me standing there like a goober taking his picture, he stopped what he was doing. See the box on the dashboard, the one that looks strangely similar to a take out box from a restaurant? The dog was thoroughly enjoying his master's lunch while she was shopping inside Whole Foods (or as my dad calls it, "Whole Paycheck").

And, I had a weird dream last night. I have a bad cold right now, and I think it was getting to my brain... I tend to have weirder dreams when I am sick. So, I dreamed that I was at the wedding of my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. They actually got married back in 2003 in a church, but in my dream, their wedding was in Lowe's. Maybe it was Home Depot, but I think it was Lowe's. I was a bridesmaid (at least that much was true to real life). In the dream, I was upset because there was not enough seating for everyone. Apparently, having been to a Lowe's wedding before, I knew that they were supposed to have scaffolding set up for overflow seating next to the folding chairs set up in a corner of the store. At this wedding, however, the scaffolding was in the opposite corner of the store. We had to climb up it and be careful not to knock off any pieces of fine china which were sitting on shelves all over it. Other than the parents of the bride and groom, all the other close family and friends had to sit on the scaffolding while the not-so-close friends and family got to sit in the folding chairs, where the ceremony was taking place. We couldn't see or hear the ceremony from the scaffolding, being on the other side of the store. I thought that my husband must be the best man, because I was paired with a different groomsman, who I think was one of my husband's co-workers (you know how stuff is never totally clear in dreams). But when I asked him, "Are you the best man?" he replied, "No, Homer Simpson is," and motioned to somebody in a full Homer Simpson costume (who was also there on the scaffolding with us). So, we all got off the scaffolding later and the wedding and reception were both over, and there were some pitiful-looking pieces of chocolate cake with the letter E frosted on them (for my SIL's middle initial?? Probably not for any real reason just because it was a random dream and therefore didn't make sense... or it was my initial, because again, this dream didn't make sense). And then I remember wedding guests sitting at a table at dinner somewhere, and it all gets fuzzy after that...

I was sorting through some old letters and cards, and I found one from my mom that said, "Happy Birthday and happy shooting!" I didn't recall ever being taken hunting for my birthday, but I finally figured it out after being quite puzzled. I also found some priceless notes from my baby brother - see photos here!

Never Gonna Give You Up... Except for Lent

Hee hee. H/t to Thomas Peters. Oh, and his "papist thumb war" photo from today is pretty funny too!

Random Bits

This morning, I was getting Cecilia's diaper changed and I said, "We're going to church today. Who will we pray to?" She answered, "Mike Revak."

Caroline has declared herself "The Emperor of Chickens." Indeed, she is. She runs around the yard with a long stick, herding them around. We have set the rule that she cannot touch the chickens with the stick because that frightens them. I can only smile and think of The Story about Ping - except Caroline doesn't spank the chickens on the back with the stick.

Our parish is having a "mission" this week, where we have a visiting priest come and do a series of talks, preceded by a dinner each night, of course! Father Lukefahr, or "Father Luke," has done missions at our parish many times now, and we always enjoy it. He comes for a full week, and he celebrated Mass on Saturday evening. We were at the vigil Mass because Chris left for the ATL airport on Sunday morning at 6. So, after Mass, Caroline invited Father Luke to come with us to El Zarape, the Mexican restaurant where, ten years before, Chris and I had our first date. So we celebrataed that anniversary with two kids, a priest, and a pitcher of beer. We had fun, and Caroline was thrilled that Father agreed to come with us!

Unfortunately, due to Chris's trip, he is missing three nights of the talks... and so am I, because the girls and I came to visit my parents while he is out of town. We will get to attend Wednesday and Thursday nights, though. So far in Atlanta, I have been honked at loudly by a car carrier on the interstate and an extremely indignant woman in the Trader Joe's parking lot. Now that is a parking lot that has always been too tight anyway, but last time I checked, I was within my rights when backing out of a parking space into my own lane so long as there was nobody coming down the aisle behind me... apparently it is not okay to back out if somebody else decides that they can use your lane because they can't wait for the senior citizen bus to move out of their lane. I truly believe with 100% of my being that she would have hit us if I hadn't stopped. I haven't driven here regularly in over ten years, but I think the prevailing attitude is, "I am the most important one in the world, and anyone who gets in my way or delays me slightly is just a huge inconvenience to be looked upon with contempt." People act like other people aren't even human - they are just objects in their way. Culture of death, anyone?? I don't even get angry... I just stare in bewilderment as they honk and zoom around, wondering why they hate life so much and why they can't just chill out? Come on, people, it is just a parking lot - chill out! There are lots of cars, and sometimes we get in each other's way... patience!! All these haughty drivers are going to die of heart attacks if this is how they approach every slight inconvenience in their lives!

Speaking of cars... a few recent noticings of mine:

Is it ironic to have a bumper sticker from the radically liberal "move on [dot] org" on the back of a Lincoln Navigator in the Starbucks drive-thru? I mean, how is driving that monstrosity of a vehicle even slightly on the agenda of the enviro-nutty? Aren't people who like that website into the ideas of only using a square of toilet paper for each bathroom visit and such? Why would they drive the hugest vehicle short of a Suburban that they can find? And Starbucks? Don't they use disposable cups and encourage money-wasting?? (Oh, I was in the line because I found a gift card in my mom's house... and because I like idling in drive-thrus and emitting more toxins from my exhaust pipe, hee hee!)

Another thing... anyone else notice the recent trend of people monograming their cars? They have their initials on the back windows, usually in some pretty script. Uhhh... why??? I just don't get that at all.

Another car trend I don't get is the "in memory of" stickers on the back windows. Are people dedicating their cars to the deceased?? I understand everyone has their own ways of dealing with grief, and perhaps this is healing to some people. I personally just think it is a little strange, particularly when there are four different dedications on the back of the same car. I mean, most of my grandparents are dead, but I don't advertise that on the back of my Mazda, ya know?

So, off my car ranting now... My mom has been referring to Cecilia as "sweetie pie," to which Cecilia replies, "Gramma, I'm not pie - don't eat me!"

And speaking of Cecilia, she is used to Daddy putting her to bed each night... not me. So, it has taken me an hour and a half to get her to sleep myself. Being at Gramma's house makes it harder to calm down for sleep anyway, I am sure. I just think it is funny that I can still nurse her to sleep within minutes for a nap each day, but not at night. So strange. So, today was her first day ever with no nap at all... I purposely didn't give her a nap. We went to the Children's museum and a playground downtown, and she fell asleep tonight within minutes. And then she woke up at 10:20, but I got her back to sleep... for now, that is... I jinxed it just by typing about it here... when she woke up, I was in the middle of the previous sentence. Okay, and so now she woke up again. I'll just shut up now...

The other day...

Caroline: Hey, what's that big red thing up on that hill?

Me: A roof of a building. A house, maybe.

Caroline: Or a barn.

Me: Maybe.

Caroline: Or a Dairy Queen.

Just as a side note... she used to call Dairy Queen "The King Dairy," just less than a year ago!

Final note... the other day, my husband informed me that an old radio station in the Atlanta area, 99X, had returned... but instead of being at 99.7, they are now at 97.7. I almost didn't believe him... how can a station at 97.7 call themselves anything with "99" in the name?? They ceased existing just a few years after I'd finally gotten used to their name change from Power 99 to 99X. So today, while flipping through the stations, I came across 97.7 and thought, "Hmm, this really does sound like the old 99X in its early days, soon after Power 99." It was weird... they were playing songs like this, and this... songs that were coming out while I was in my freshman year of high school. And they kept playing songs from this album... why? Is "alternative" music of the early/mid 90s in high demand again all of a sudden? Very odd.

And off to bed I go before Cecilia wakes up again... which it sounds like she might with all her tossing and turning!