We named the baby Mary Karol. I had a dream that the baby had been a girl. We found out that there was no heartbeat on December 12, the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe (Mary) after an ultrasound I got in the ER, knowing something was not right. Then the miscarriage began on December 15, the feast day of St. Mary di Rosa. So the name Mary seemed very fitting when put with my dream. I still don't have a definitive feeling on the gender of the baby, and the middle name Karol sounds feminine in our culture but is actually a male name in Poland and was the name of Pope Saint John Paul II. My family has Polish Catholic heritage, and he was the Pope when I was born.
I am so grateful to the people who have helped us... this is already a busy and complicated time of the year, so we have needed the support. My mom came to stay with the girls when I had to be hospitalized overnight after passing out during the miscarriage. Our friends from church took the girls both times when I had to go to the ER and fed them dinner. Another friend took care of the girls and drove them to their dance classes for me as well as bringing us dinner, and one of our neighbors offered to bring us a meal this past weekend. Having meals made for us has been truly the best thing... it has been one less thing we have had to manage. My wonderful husband has been holding us together otherwise, being the only one not struck down by this cold. He has been doing Christmas baking and keeping everyone fed on the days he has been home from work. My brother who is a transitional deacon has also been very helpful in looking into how to best go about with burial of the remains of the baby... we want to respectfully do something that is in line with our faith. Other than the specific things people have offered to do for us, having other moms tell me about their own miscarriages has been so helpful. It seems that almost all of my friends have been through this at least once. I am sad that any of us have to go through this, yet it makes us all feel less alone when we realize how common this situation really is.
Please pray for peace for our family at this time. I took several photos of how our Advent was going before this all began, so I am going to share some of those now... as I sit under the influence of this cold while my kids watch yet another movie, ha. Movies have been helping to get us through the sadness and sickness.
I hope everyone has a merry Christmas season and that you have some time of rest with family and friends.