Caroline's analysis of an airplane hangar she saw in a book, based on her knowledge from The Little Engine that Could: "Oh, a hangar must be like a roundhouse for airplanes!"
She said something else that was funny and/or witty earlier too... it's amazing I managed to remember the above until I got a chance to write it down. maybe the other one will come back to me, but probably not...
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Why do I...
...parent my babies to sleep? Why do I not "sleep train" them? (I imagine this will also cover some of "Why do I sleep with my babies")
The short answer: Because I couldn't stand leaving them crying alone!
The long answer...
Really, the short answer says a lot of it if I delve into it more deeply. A lot of the arguments against leaving babies to "cry it out" (CIO) claim that there is scientific evidence to support the potential for attachment problems and even neurological damage resulting from CIO. This is based on the fact that prolonged, unattended crying in babies and young children (and really, in any age) raises cortisol levels, which is stressful and could impact the young child's rapidly-developing brain, which is so busy forming neurological connections in the first two to three years.
Then there are the arguments for letting the baby CIO, saying that there is no scientific evidence that CIO sleep training methods cause any problems later in life.
Okay, so it would appear that science has neither definitively proven nor disproven that leaving a baby to CIO will harm him. I am not going to claim here that I won't leave my babies to CIO because I know that it would damage them emotionally or neurologically to do so. I do not know that as a scientific fact. Nor do I know that they are guaranteed to suffer no ill-effects if I were to use CIO sleep training on them.
So many other discussions of this issue go straight for the "science." So, science aside...
I parent my babies to sleep because it feels right instinctually. I am their mother, and they were growing inside me all those months and know nothing different. They cry for a reason - God gave them the ability to cry in order to signal distress. They are very immature developmentally, and they don't come to us knowing how to sleep "well" (as we define this for adults). I do not expect my baby or my young child to sleep like an adult sleeps. Even if I did, adults don't always sleep through the night... we wake up to use the bathroom, get a drink of water, or just because... and we are typically mature and developed enough that we can understand how to go back to sleep, that there is not something out to get us in the dark, that our other loved ones still exist even though they are not there in the bed with us.
Let me backtrack a minute for those who may be unfamiliar with CIO sleep training: the basics are that, usually once a baby is about six months old, books about sleep training advise the parents to put the baby in a crib awake at bedtime. He will probably cry. The parents are supposed to leave him for some time period... each book varies a bit on this. Some say to leave for five minutes and then come back to check on the baby, some say to check every 15 minutes, some say to increase the intervals between your checks... some say you may not pick up the baby but you may give him a hug or pat his back, others say you may not touch the baby but may reassure him briefly with your voice, you may clean him up if he vomits on himself from the crying but do so matter-of-factly and put him right back in bed, etc. Rules. It is about following rules in a training regimen. The intended result is that the baby will gradually cry less and less, and then he will learn to put himself to sleep and will do so without crying - and will sleep through the night for 8 or 10 or 12 hours straight.
I do not feel comfortable with this approach for several reasons. First, these plans from books are not tailor-made for my baby. They often appear to be very rigid (although I am sure that some parents vary the rules up when using them on their babies). Also, this goes against what I said above - that babies cry for a reason. They are not just trying to be obnoxious. They are not trying to be "manipulative" in the sense that "manipulative" has a negative connotation. And finally, I feel that the means don't justify the ends. The end result is a sleeping baby who will put himself to sleep and eventually sleep all night, or at least not wake his parents when he wakes. The books on sleep training show their "success" based on the fact that most babies will indeed sleep all night after a few nights or weeks of CIO. But the approach bothers me... the means to this "independence" in sleep was brought about not because the baby learned how to sleep "better" (more on that later) but because he learned that his cries did not elicit a response. There was no cause and effect type of a reaction, so he has really just learned that his crying is in vain, and he eventually gives up. I am not personally comfortable with training my babies to give up on getting my attention.
About that "better" sleep... most people seem to assume that long, deep periods of uninterrupted sleep are healthier for everyone. For babies, there is actually a protective purpose to frequent waking and remaining in lighter sleep states more frequently (which they do naturally, when they are not trained to do otherwise). Babies have immature breathing, and this peaks at 2-4 months of age... the time when SIDS is most prevalent. Their frequent waking may actually be self-preserving in that they can rouse themselves easily. Falling into too deep of a sleep when you have irregular breathing patterns can spell disaster. Babies actually wake frequently as a survival mechanism! Dr. James McKenna at Notre Dame has done some very interesting research on this.
Babies eventually start to develop more adult-like sleeping patterns... even if not prodded to do so. They will gradually decrease in their wakings, usually with several periods of backsliding due to developmental progress, teething, illness, vacation, or other issues (which often causes regressions in babies who CIO as well). Many people seem to think that if a baby is not sleep-trained, he will never develop healthy independent sleep habits. They seem to think that if a child still needs his parents to help him fall asleep at age two, then he will be needing it at age 18 (and will have to take mommy to college with him!).
So... back to the "science aside" thoughts. Regardless of any proof one way or the other of sleep training's effects on children, it doesn't feel right to leave my baby crying. It doesn't feel right to leave my 18 month old crying, either. It doesn't feel right to leave my four year old alone to cry herself to sleep (but of course, I can reason better with my four year old and she can accept and understand things better than my one year old... it does get easier sleep-wise as they get older). I go back to the thought that these children are not really mine - they are on loan to us from God. How would He want me to respond to my children? Would he want me to leave them alone and sobbing in order to teach them how to do something that is a natural part of life that they will naturally mature into if given time? I would not leave my babies sobbing with any other developmental task... in a high chair with a fork in order to teach them how to eat, on the floor with a stacking toy in order to teach them how to make it work, on the toilet alone in a bathroom in order to teach them how to use it. The difference is that it appears that one can force independent sleep because the baby will do it if left crying long enough. I could leave a four month old in a high chair for months with a fork and he still might not learn how to use it to get food into his mouth. But sleep is something the baby does from birth... just not sleeping through the night. Sleep is also a reaction to stress or trauma for infants. They will often go into a deeper sleep after a traumatic experience as a means of "escaping." So the sleep does happen with CIO, but for what reason? For me, I want the means to be more important than the ends. Many parents have the goal of a sleeping baby - and that is the goal. My goal, after examining this more closely as my first child grew and even more once my second came along, is not for my babies to sleep long stretches as early as possible, but for them to learn that I am there for them to help them learn all the new skills in life, including sleep.
Another goal is for them to get enough sleep. Babies and children need more sleep than adults. Adults also need a decent amount of sleep. Many people say this is why they used CIO sleep training. Makes sense, if that is the only way to get sleep. But is it the only way?
This is where I feel for the parents who were told by their pediatricians that they *had* to sleep train their babies. It seems that the trend is changing some now - a few generations ago, it seems like all parents used CIO because this is just "what was done." Pediatricians had recently become "parenting experts" rather than doctors whose purpose was to treat childhood illnesses. This was the age of Dr. Spock, and it became the norm to go to the pediatrician for advice on matters such as discipline - matters in which the doc had no formal training. Maybe this was in part due to families being more spread out - grown children didn't always have their extended family around for support and therefore went to the pediatrician. Whatever the reasons, CIO became seen as a doctor-endorsed part of baby care. And so many parents did it because their doctor said they should.
I hate that people feel guilty about it. Especially for parents who really thought it was the only option and it had to be done for the baby's well-being... we do the best we can with the information we have at the time, and with the circumstances we faced at the time. Nobody should feel guilty about doing what they honestly thought was the only way to do something, and hopefully they do not. It seems that people also claim that others who don't use CIO "make them feel guilty." I don't think anyone can make another person feel guilty - they can try - but true guilt comes from within, when we feel like we have not made the right choice. All parents feel guilt about one thing or another. The guilt I feel about some parenting mistakes is my own - and it makes me want to improve and do things differently in the future (knowing that I will still continue to make mistakes despite my desire to do better). There are no perfect parents, although I think God had a plan when he decided what type of children with which to bless their parents. He knows what He is doing, even if we don't have a clue!
And on the topic of parenting... maybe a change of viewpoint on the issue would be refreshing. Perhaps we could look at children learning to sleep not as a parenting issue but as a relationship issue. When we characterize night wakings as a "problem," then we tend to see it as something that we as parents must control, must train, must affect. If we see wakings as being normal, then we can use them to benefit our relationships with our children. We can use our relationship with our children to teach them, gently, as opposed to forcing them.
Yes, but what if the waking *is* a problem, in that the baby or parents are not getting enough sleep, as I mentioned a few paragraphs back? Of course that is problematic, but so is the assumption that the only way to increase the amount of sleep for everyone is by using CIO. There are other options. The one that I personally have found to be most effective is co-sleeping. My baby is in bed with me, and I can breastfeed lying down, even in my sleep, and I do not have to get up out of bed in order to attend to my baby's needs. I also am teaching my baby through example that nighttime is for sleeping, something that many parents say is important to them and a reason for using CIO.
Most people around the world co-sleep, and have been doing so for thousands of years. This has not bred centuries of insecure people who never learn to sleep without their mommies, though! It has instead led to moms getting more rest while baby gets his nighttime needs acknowledged and met. Win-win, in my opinion. Not only that, but it would appear that we are biologically made to sleep this way. For instance, mothers have been shown to rouse just a few seconds before their co-sleeping infants do and to then be able to begin nursing them without either one having to fully wake. Mothers have been observed to adjust the covers and adjust the baby as needed while asleep - as in, they don't recall doing this later. James McKenna, who I mentioned already, has also found that the mother's breathing and presence help to regulate the infant's breathing... the mother's mature system acts as a protective mechanism against SIDS. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is also known as "cot death" (cot meaning crib) in many places, because it happens so much more frequently when a baby sleeps alone in a crib as opposed to near his mother. In countries where co-sleeping is the norm, SIDS deaths are virtually unheard of. Dr. McKenna even goes so far as to say that a baby under six months of age should never be left alone to sleep. This is information that most parents do not know, and I think it is very important to get out there. I am so glad that I found this information on co-sleeping's relationship to preventing SIDS, because I found it to be more information that could empower me to make decisions that could affect my young baby. I do not share this info in order to scare people or guilt-trip them... but I share it as a concerned mother who assumes other mothers might have some of the same concerns I had.
Well, some people say, co-sleeping just isn't for me. I can understand that, because it is such a foreign concept to most of us in our culture. Engrained views can be hindrance to successful co-sleeping. For me, though, the alternative being to get up with my baby all night long... I chose to change my views about co-sleeping and gradually began to not only accept it, but embrace it. I can see that a parent who has to physically get out of bed eight times a night might feel that CIO is the only answer! I would go nuts with sleep deprivation if I had to get up from bed and stay awake to nurse as well.
I think that in order for co-sleeping to succeed, there has to be a certain attitude about it. If somebody says, "Oh, co-sleeping would never work for me" without trying it at all, then of course it won't work... because what you don't try cannot work! Personally, I thought it would be uncomfortable to sleep with a baby in my bed. And what about the fear of rolling over on the baby that is so widespread? I had to educate myself on all of this in order to feel most comfortable, and I had to actually try co-sleeping to find that it did indeed give me much more sleep! I don't think you can understand how easily one can fall asleep nursing in bed in those exhausting early weeks until you've done it. Co-sleeping with a squirmy, bigger toddler can be another issue altogether... but co-sleeping with a tiny infant works extremely well, and rightly so, since our bodies were designed for it.
My advice to those who would consider co-sleeping: acceptance, acceptance, acceptance. Accept that this is normal, this is not wrong, this is not letting your baby manipulate you, and this is not unsafe so long as you take some basic precautionary steps. I love the phrase "this too shall pass," because it is so true. A baby may be in your bed for years, but it *will* pass. It will end one day. People don't end up with their 25 year old children climbing into bed with them. A few years may seem like an eternity when you are in the midst of it... especially for a first-time parent (I seriously had days where I thought my first child would never be able to communicate with me, would never be able to sleep alone, or learn to do anything for herself, even though this was completely irrational!). But in the long run, when you look back, the baby and toddler years are quite short comparatively. The years of cuddling a sweet sleepy little one will be gone forever one day. I'd also say to not "psyche yourself out" by setting yourself up for failure ahead of time - like becoming overly anxious about the baby's sleep before the birth, or thinking about how crazy you'll be with the baby sleeping next to you, or about how you'll never get to sleep with somebody else *touching* you, much less your breast! Of course these can be valid concerns, but I would advise not getting worked up over them... mind over matter here. Which can be very tough, I know! It can be really hard to overcome these thoughts, given the cultural perception of co-sleeping. Seek out support, read helpful and reassuring information - I loved the book Three in a Bed.
The whole topic of CIO seems to be so controversial from some things I have read online - I almost hesitated to post about it. But co-sleeping is an important issue that many parents don't even know is possible, and it is also one that gets the most raised eyebrows and disapproval from family and friends when they learn you are doing it. Therefore, co-sleeping parents need support for what they are doing. It is more common for somebody to critique a parent's choice to co-sleep than it is for them to critique the CIO method, which is often advised to co-sleeping parents by well-meaning friends and family, or by pediatricians. So, my purpose in this post was to provide an explanation of why I do it this way, and to give other co-sleeping parents reassurance and confidence in what they are doing. I will also add the disclaimer that my support for nighttime parenting/co-sleeping does not mean I think people who use CIO are "bad parents." I have seen that come up in some online discussions, where one person's support for co-sleeping is taken to mean that they think parents letting a baby CIO do it because they are mean or bad. Sleep-deprived, maybe, but not mean. And if a parent is absolutely certain that there is no other option besides CIO, that they will have a nervous breakdown and snap otherwise, then it may be better if that is really the case. I just wish that our culture was more accepting of the norms of infant sleep in a way that we all grow up understanding this, and having the support around us that helps us to deal with nightwakings. I think much of our perceived need to "do things" to our children stem from our societal structure and our support around us... because it is *hard* to be a parent no matter what, and even harder when you don't have people around you to help you, be models for you, and just experience life with you! And when you are swimming against the cultural tide, it is even more helpful to have support, to see that there are some others out there doing what you are doing, and to get a reassuring smile or pat on the back.
Some other resources:
PhD in Parenting (also try the CIO and co-sleeping tags on this blog)
Dr. Sears Sleep Resources
Natural Child Project sleep articles (with several good ones by Dr. McKenna... can you tell he's one of my heroes?!?)
And a post I wrote myself about co-sleeping
The short answer: Because I couldn't stand leaving them crying alone!
The long answer...
Really, the short answer says a lot of it if I delve into it more deeply. A lot of the arguments against leaving babies to "cry it out" (CIO) claim that there is scientific evidence to support the potential for attachment problems and even neurological damage resulting from CIO. This is based on the fact that prolonged, unattended crying in babies and young children (and really, in any age) raises cortisol levels, which is stressful and could impact the young child's rapidly-developing brain, which is so busy forming neurological connections in the first two to three years.
Then there are the arguments for letting the baby CIO, saying that there is no scientific evidence that CIO sleep training methods cause any problems later in life.
Okay, so it would appear that science has neither definitively proven nor disproven that leaving a baby to CIO will harm him. I am not going to claim here that I won't leave my babies to CIO because I know that it would damage them emotionally or neurologically to do so. I do not know that as a scientific fact. Nor do I know that they are guaranteed to suffer no ill-effects if I were to use CIO sleep training on them.
So many other discussions of this issue go straight for the "science." So, science aside...
I parent my babies to sleep because it feels right instinctually. I am their mother, and they were growing inside me all those months and know nothing different. They cry for a reason - God gave them the ability to cry in order to signal distress. They are very immature developmentally, and they don't come to us knowing how to sleep "well" (as we define this for adults). I do not expect my baby or my young child to sleep like an adult sleeps. Even if I did, adults don't always sleep through the night... we wake up to use the bathroom, get a drink of water, or just because... and we are typically mature and developed enough that we can understand how to go back to sleep, that there is not something out to get us in the dark, that our other loved ones still exist even though they are not there in the bed with us.
Let me backtrack a minute for those who may be unfamiliar with CIO sleep training: the basics are that, usually once a baby is about six months old, books about sleep training advise the parents to put the baby in a crib awake at bedtime. He will probably cry. The parents are supposed to leave him for some time period... each book varies a bit on this. Some say to leave for five minutes and then come back to check on the baby, some say to check every 15 minutes, some say to increase the intervals between your checks... some say you may not pick up the baby but you may give him a hug or pat his back, others say you may not touch the baby but may reassure him briefly with your voice, you may clean him up if he vomits on himself from the crying but do so matter-of-factly and put him right back in bed, etc. Rules. It is about following rules in a training regimen. The intended result is that the baby will gradually cry less and less, and then he will learn to put himself to sleep and will do so without crying - and will sleep through the night for 8 or 10 or 12 hours straight.
I do not feel comfortable with this approach for several reasons. First, these plans from books are not tailor-made for my baby. They often appear to be very rigid (although I am sure that some parents vary the rules up when using them on their babies). Also, this goes against what I said above - that babies cry for a reason. They are not just trying to be obnoxious. They are not trying to be "manipulative" in the sense that "manipulative" has a negative connotation. And finally, I feel that the means don't justify the ends. The end result is a sleeping baby who will put himself to sleep and eventually sleep all night, or at least not wake his parents when he wakes. The books on sleep training show their "success" based on the fact that most babies will indeed sleep all night after a few nights or weeks of CIO. But the approach bothers me... the means to this "independence" in sleep was brought about not because the baby learned how to sleep "better" (more on that later) but because he learned that his cries did not elicit a response. There was no cause and effect type of a reaction, so he has really just learned that his crying is in vain, and he eventually gives up. I am not personally comfortable with training my babies to give up on getting my attention.
About that "better" sleep... most people seem to assume that long, deep periods of uninterrupted sleep are healthier for everyone. For babies, there is actually a protective purpose to frequent waking and remaining in lighter sleep states more frequently (which they do naturally, when they are not trained to do otherwise). Babies have immature breathing, and this peaks at 2-4 months of age... the time when SIDS is most prevalent. Their frequent waking may actually be self-preserving in that they can rouse themselves easily. Falling into too deep of a sleep when you have irregular breathing patterns can spell disaster. Babies actually wake frequently as a survival mechanism! Dr. James McKenna at Notre Dame has done some very interesting research on this.
Babies eventually start to develop more adult-like sleeping patterns... even if not prodded to do so. They will gradually decrease in their wakings, usually with several periods of backsliding due to developmental progress, teething, illness, vacation, or other issues (which often causes regressions in babies who CIO as well). Many people seem to think that if a baby is not sleep-trained, he will never develop healthy independent sleep habits. They seem to think that if a child still needs his parents to help him fall asleep at age two, then he will be needing it at age 18 (and will have to take mommy to college with him!).
So... back to the "science aside" thoughts. Regardless of any proof one way or the other of sleep training's effects on children, it doesn't feel right to leave my baby crying. It doesn't feel right to leave my 18 month old crying, either. It doesn't feel right to leave my four year old alone to cry herself to sleep (but of course, I can reason better with my four year old and she can accept and understand things better than my one year old... it does get easier sleep-wise as they get older). I go back to the thought that these children are not really mine - they are on loan to us from God. How would He want me to respond to my children? Would he want me to leave them alone and sobbing in order to teach them how to do something that is a natural part of life that they will naturally mature into if given time? I would not leave my babies sobbing with any other developmental task... in a high chair with a fork in order to teach them how to eat, on the floor with a stacking toy in order to teach them how to make it work, on the toilet alone in a bathroom in order to teach them how to use it. The difference is that it appears that one can force independent sleep because the baby will do it if left crying long enough. I could leave a four month old in a high chair for months with a fork and he still might not learn how to use it to get food into his mouth. But sleep is something the baby does from birth... just not sleeping through the night. Sleep is also a reaction to stress or trauma for infants. They will often go into a deeper sleep after a traumatic experience as a means of "escaping." So the sleep does happen with CIO, but for what reason? For me, I want the means to be more important than the ends. Many parents have the goal of a sleeping baby - and that is the goal. My goal, after examining this more closely as my first child grew and even more once my second came along, is not for my babies to sleep long stretches as early as possible, but for them to learn that I am there for them to help them learn all the new skills in life, including sleep.
Another goal is for them to get enough sleep. Babies and children need more sleep than adults. Adults also need a decent amount of sleep. Many people say this is why they used CIO sleep training. Makes sense, if that is the only way to get sleep. But is it the only way?
This is where I feel for the parents who were told by their pediatricians that they *had* to sleep train their babies. It seems that the trend is changing some now - a few generations ago, it seems like all parents used CIO because this is just "what was done." Pediatricians had recently become "parenting experts" rather than doctors whose purpose was to treat childhood illnesses. This was the age of Dr. Spock, and it became the norm to go to the pediatrician for advice on matters such as discipline - matters in which the doc had no formal training. Maybe this was in part due to families being more spread out - grown children didn't always have their extended family around for support and therefore went to the pediatrician. Whatever the reasons, CIO became seen as a doctor-endorsed part of baby care. And so many parents did it because their doctor said they should.
I hate that people feel guilty about it. Especially for parents who really thought it was the only option and it had to be done for the baby's well-being... we do the best we can with the information we have at the time, and with the circumstances we faced at the time. Nobody should feel guilty about doing what they honestly thought was the only way to do something, and hopefully they do not. It seems that people also claim that others who don't use CIO "make them feel guilty." I don't think anyone can make another person feel guilty - they can try - but true guilt comes from within, when we feel like we have not made the right choice. All parents feel guilt about one thing or another. The guilt I feel about some parenting mistakes is my own - and it makes me want to improve and do things differently in the future (knowing that I will still continue to make mistakes despite my desire to do better). There are no perfect parents, although I think God had a plan when he decided what type of children with which to bless their parents. He knows what He is doing, even if we don't have a clue!
And on the topic of parenting... maybe a change of viewpoint on the issue would be refreshing. Perhaps we could look at children learning to sleep not as a parenting issue but as a relationship issue. When we characterize night wakings as a "problem," then we tend to see it as something that we as parents must control, must train, must affect. If we see wakings as being normal, then we can use them to benefit our relationships with our children. We can use our relationship with our children to teach them, gently, as opposed to forcing them.
Yes, but what if the waking *is* a problem, in that the baby or parents are not getting enough sleep, as I mentioned a few paragraphs back? Of course that is problematic, but so is the assumption that the only way to increase the amount of sleep for everyone is by using CIO. There are other options. The one that I personally have found to be most effective is co-sleeping. My baby is in bed with me, and I can breastfeed lying down, even in my sleep, and I do not have to get up out of bed in order to attend to my baby's needs. I also am teaching my baby through example that nighttime is for sleeping, something that many parents say is important to them and a reason for using CIO.
Most people around the world co-sleep, and have been doing so for thousands of years. This has not bred centuries of insecure people who never learn to sleep without their mommies, though! It has instead led to moms getting more rest while baby gets his nighttime needs acknowledged and met. Win-win, in my opinion. Not only that, but it would appear that we are biologically made to sleep this way. For instance, mothers have been shown to rouse just a few seconds before their co-sleeping infants do and to then be able to begin nursing them without either one having to fully wake. Mothers have been observed to adjust the covers and adjust the baby as needed while asleep - as in, they don't recall doing this later. James McKenna, who I mentioned already, has also found that the mother's breathing and presence help to regulate the infant's breathing... the mother's mature system acts as a protective mechanism against SIDS. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is also known as "cot death" (cot meaning crib) in many places, because it happens so much more frequently when a baby sleeps alone in a crib as opposed to near his mother. In countries where co-sleeping is the norm, SIDS deaths are virtually unheard of. Dr. McKenna even goes so far as to say that a baby under six months of age should never be left alone to sleep. This is information that most parents do not know, and I think it is very important to get out there. I am so glad that I found this information on co-sleeping's relationship to preventing SIDS, because I found it to be more information that could empower me to make decisions that could affect my young baby. I do not share this info in order to scare people or guilt-trip them... but I share it as a concerned mother who assumes other mothers might have some of the same concerns I had.
Well, some people say, co-sleeping just isn't for me. I can understand that, because it is such a foreign concept to most of us in our culture. Engrained views can be hindrance to successful co-sleeping. For me, though, the alternative being to get up with my baby all night long... I chose to change my views about co-sleeping and gradually began to not only accept it, but embrace it. I can see that a parent who has to physically get out of bed eight times a night might feel that CIO is the only answer! I would go nuts with sleep deprivation if I had to get up from bed and stay awake to nurse as well.
I think that in order for co-sleeping to succeed, there has to be a certain attitude about it. If somebody says, "Oh, co-sleeping would never work for me" without trying it at all, then of course it won't work... because what you don't try cannot work! Personally, I thought it would be uncomfortable to sleep with a baby in my bed. And what about the fear of rolling over on the baby that is so widespread? I had to educate myself on all of this in order to feel most comfortable, and I had to actually try co-sleeping to find that it did indeed give me much more sleep! I don't think you can understand how easily one can fall asleep nursing in bed in those exhausting early weeks until you've done it. Co-sleeping with a squirmy, bigger toddler can be another issue altogether... but co-sleeping with a tiny infant works extremely well, and rightly so, since our bodies were designed for it.
My advice to those who would consider co-sleeping: acceptance, acceptance, acceptance. Accept that this is normal, this is not wrong, this is not letting your baby manipulate you, and this is not unsafe so long as you take some basic precautionary steps. I love the phrase "this too shall pass," because it is so true. A baby may be in your bed for years, but it *will* pass. It will end one day. People don't end up with their 25 year old children climbing into bed with them. A few years may seem like an eternity when you are in the midst of it... especially for a first-time parent (I seriously had days where I thought my first child would never be able to communicate with me, would never be able to sleep alone, or learn to do anything for herself, even though this was completely irrational!). But in the long run, when you look back, the baby and toddler years are quite short comparatively. The years of cuddling a sweet sleepy little one will be gone forever one day. I'd also say to not "psyche yourself out" by setting yourself up for failure ahead of time - like becoming overly anxious about the baby's sleep before the birth, or thinking about how crazy you'll be with the baby sleeping next to you, or about how you'll never get to sleep with somebody else *touching* you, much less your breast! Of course these can be valid concerns, but I would advise not getting worked up over them... mind over matter here. Which can be very tough, I know! It can be really hard to overcome these thoughts, given the cultural perception of co-sleeping. Seek out support, read helpful and reassuring information - I loved the book Three in a Bed.
The whole topic of CIO seems to be so controversial from some things I have read online - I almost hesitated to post about it. But co-sleeping is an important issue that many parents don't even know is possible, and it is also one that gets the most raised eyebrows and disapproval from family and friends when they learn you are doing it. Therefore, co-sleeping parents need support for what they are doing. It is more common for somebody to critique a parent's choice to co-sleep than it is for them to critique the CIO method, which is often advised to co-sleeping parents by well-meaning friends and family, or by pediatricians. So, my purpose in this post was to provide an explanation of why I do it this way, and to give other co-sleeping parents reassurance and confidence in what they are doing. I will also add the disclaimer that my support for nighttime parenting/co-sleeping does not mean I think people who use CIO are "bad parents." I have seen that come up in some online discussions, where one person's support for co-sleeping is taken to mean that they think parents letting a baby CIO do it because they are mean or bad. Sleep-deprived, maybe, but not mean. And if a parent is absolutely certain that there is no other option besides CIO, that they will have a nervous breakdown and snap otherwise, then it may be better if that is really the case. I just wish that our culture was more accepting of the norms of infant sleep in a way that we all grow up understanding this, and having the support around us that helps us to deal with nightwakings. I think much of our perceived need to "do things" to our children stem from our societal structure and our support around us... because it is *hard* to be a parent no matter what, and even harder when you don't have people around you to help you, be models for you, and just experience life with you! And when you are swimming against the cultural tide, it is even more helpful to have support, to see that there are some others out there doing what you are doing, and to get a reassuring smile or pat on the back.
Some other resources:
PhD in Parenting (also try the CIO and co-sleeping tags on this blog)
Dr. Sears Sleep Resources
Natural Child Project sleep articles (with several good ones by Dr. McKenna... can you tell he's one of my heroes?!?)
And a post I wrote myself about co-sleeping
Saturday, September 12, 2009
This is hilarious (and made me reflect and ponder, too)
Okay, so maybe I'm the only one who finds this absolutely hilarious. Although it looks like a million and a half Youtube viewers agree... Maybe it is only funny if you used to like Nirvana and/or 80's music... which makes this video neat to me since I remember both songs so clearly in their heydays.
I just couldn't stop laughing... and thinking how perfectly the lyrics fit into this other song!
I am quite embarrassed to admit that I cried the day Kurt Cobain (lead singer of Nirvana) died... what, more than 15 years ago? How could I have liked listening to Nirvana's music on a daily basis?? It's just so... grating. So, if you're totally unfamiliar with Nirvana, the above video didn't show you how they really sounded without their vocals. Grating, depressing, morose, harsh, whiny, angry, like Cobain had a perpetually sore throat... you get the idea (and if not, you can go over to Youtube easily enough and listen to a sample of the actual Nirvana version of this song).
How did I go from an eight year old listening to Rick Astley in the car on Florida vacations with my family to a 14 year old sitting alone in my room listening to Nirvana? Hmm, maybe it was MTV? In that case, we are never going to get cable or satellite TV if I can help our girls avoid the teen angst stuff! ;)
Which brings me to another pondering... how did the relatively happy, non-depressing music of the 80's go to the angst-filled "grunge" music of the early and mid-90's? I mean, the only depressing 80's music was songs like Phil Collins's "Throwing it All Away," which was sad but in a sentimental kind of way, not in an angry, I-hate-my-life-and-want-to-die, listen-to-me-wail-and-scream-and-groan-instead-of-sing kind of way. We went from a few tender sad songs to this raging angst stuff. What brought about this change??
And as I look back, how much lovelier the 80's were than the 90's. Not that I didn't enjoy my teen years - I did in many ways - but it was nothing compared to the beautiful innocence of childhood that was my 80's life. The 80's music was relatively innocent and happy, not overly promiscuous or immoral for the most part, and relatively upbeat. How odd that my stage of life fit with the popular music of the time... and as I entered the teen years, the music became more like how teens are often viewed: sullen and depressed and bitter. And I was a pretty negative teenager. I wonder if my "MTV years" actually helped shape me into who I am today in a positive way, or if I would have been better off without listening to Nirvana, etc. Something I guess I won't ever really know...
Also oddly, I continued to love the sentimental 80's music throughout my teen years. Not enough to buy the albums, but enough to keep my cassette tapes that I had recorded off the radio as a pre-teen and pull them out for long car trips to Florida! As I got closer to adulthood, the 80's songs became more meaningful as I realized that my childhood was gone and that these were a reminder of those years.
So now, watching this video on Youtube not only had me laughing and thinking how amazing it is that the Rick Astley lyrics fit the Nirvana tune, but it had me taking a pensive look at my childhood and teen years. And it makes me happy to now think of this depressing Nirvana song in a new light. Now, if "Smells Like Teen Spirit" comes on the radio, I can just sing along with the Rick Astley lyrics and picture his happy-go-lucky singing and dancing (albeit lame, in an 80's kind of way) rather than the grating and angst-filled vocals of Kurt Cobain. It kind of smooths over those teen years for me, a reminder that I was really still the same little kid who loved the 80's songs on the radio as I was when I was a confused teenager... and that I have come full-circle in that I would much rather listen to those 80's songs now instead of Nirvana! And how important I thought Nirvana et al were in my early teens! How to relay this to my own daughters as they enter their teens??? Maybe it just has to be lived through. Maybe I can help shape it so that this kind of music doesn't play such a powerful role in their lives as teens... how, I am not quite sure yet other than not having MTV! I'd love to hear what other parents of teens think about it all...
Okay, rambling over now. :)
I just couldn't stop laughing... and thinking how perfectly the lyrics fit into this other song!
I am quite embarrassed to admit that I cried the day Kurt Cobain (lead singer of Nirvana) died... what, more than 15 years ago? How could I have liked listening to Nirvana's music on a daily basis?? It's just so... grating. So, if you're totally unfamiliar with Nirvana, the above video didn't show you how they really sounded without their vocals. Grating, depressing, morose, harsh, whiny, angry, like Cobain had a perpetually sore throat... you get the idea (and if not, you can go over to Youtube easily enough and listen to a sample of the actual Nirvana version of this song).
How did I go from an eight year old listening to Rick Astley in the car on Florida vacations with my family to a 14 year old sitting alone in my room listening to Nirvana? Hmm, maybe it was MTV? In that case, we are never going to get cable or satellite TV if I can help our girls avoid the teen angst stuff! ;)
Which brings me to another pondering... how did the relatively happy, non-depressing music of the 80's go to the angst-filled "grunge" music of the early and mid-90's? I mean, the only depressing 80's music was songs like Phil Collins's "Throwing it All Away," which was sad but in a sentimental kind of way, not in an angry, I-hate-my-life-and-want-to-die, listen-to-me-wail-and-scream-and-groan-instead-of-sing kind of way. We went from a few tender sad songs to this raging angst stuff. What brought about this change??
And as I look back, how much lovelier the 80's were than the 90's. Not that I didn't enjoy my teen years - I did in many ways - but it was nothing compared to the beautiful innocence of childhood that was my 80's life. The 80's music was relatively innocent and happy, not overly promiscuous or immoral for the most part, and relatively upbeat. How odd that my stage of life fit with the popular music of the time... and as I entered the teen years, the music became more like how teens are often viewed: sullen and depressed and bitter. And I was a pretty negative teenager. I wonder if my "MTV years" actually helped shape me into who I am today in a positive way, or if I would have been better off without listening to Nirvana, etc. Something I guess I won't ever really know...
Also oddly, I continued to love the sentimental 80's music throughout my teen years. Not enough to buy the albums, but enough to keep my cassette tapes that I had recorded off the radio as a pre-teen and pull them out for long car trips to Florida! As I got closer to adulthood, the 80's songs became more meaningful as I realized that my childhood was gone and that these were a reminder of those years.
So now, watching this video on Youtube not only had me laughing and thinking how amazing it is that the Rick Astley lyrics fit the Nirvana tune, but it had me taking a pensive look at my childhood and teen years. And it makes me happy to now think of this depressing Nirvana song in a new light. Now, if "Smells Like Teen Spirit" comes on the radio, I can just sing along with the Rick Astley lyrics and picture his happy-go-lucky singing and dancing (albeit lame, in an 80's kind of way) rather than the grating and angst-filled vocals of Kurt Cobain. It kind of smooths over those teen years for me, a reminder that I was really still the same little kid who loved the 80's songs on the radio as I was when I was a confused teenager... and that I have come full-circle in that I would much rather listen to those 80's songs now instead of Nirvana! And how important I thought Nirvana et al were in my early teens! How to relay this to my own daughters as they enter their teens??? Maybe it just has to be lived through. Maybe I can help shape it so that this kind of music doesn't play such a powerful role in their lives as teens... how, I am not quite sure yet other than not having MTV! I'd love to hear what other parents of teens think about it all...
Okay, rambling over now. :)
Celebrating Mary's Birthday and Most Holy Name this week!
Tuesday, September 8th, was the Nativity of Mary - Mary's birthday, that is! Caroline and I made a blueberry cheesecake as a "birthday cake" - the white cheesecake symbolizes Mary's purity, and the blueberries are symbolic of her traditionally blue clothing. Here's where we found the cheesecake recipe.
Caroline stirred the sour cream portion of the recipe... as you can see, she chose to wear all blue today herself, "because Mary wore blue!"
I thought this idea was really neat... it also came from the link above. We placed ten candles around the cheesecake and as we lit each one, we said a Hail Mary, completing one decade by the time we'd lit all ten candles. now, Cecilia is used to us saying a decade of the rosary after dinner sometimes (I am wanting to make that a daily thing, but sometimes it is hard when you have little girls who really need to be in bed by 7:30!), but we do it on the couch in the den. She was entranced by the candle-lighting at first, but then we she realized that she wasn't getting the blueberries after about eight Hail Marys, she began saying, "Awwdone pray!" When we continued to say the prayers, she began screeching, "NO!!!!!!!!" over and over. It was funny, considering the mod with the dimmed lights and candles!
When we finished praying the decade of the rosary, we sand Hapy Birthday to Mary, and Caroline blew out the candles!
The top layer looks pretty unappealing because I subbed Sucanat for the white sugar... I bet it would have looked nicer with the white sugar! I also subbed Sucanat in the cream cheese layer, which called for a half cup of white sugar. It was very yummy, not too sweet or rich, but just right!
Today is the feast of the Most Holy Name of Mary (makes sense that we'd celebrate her naming a few days after her birth, right?). Earlier this week, we made a few preparations. I made an outline of the letters to make Mary's name and drew a little sketch for Caroline to paint using some watercolors I found at a local store. Of course, Cecilia did not want to be left out! We did this on Thursday.
Caroline got the paper damp with a sponge brush and then painted the letters whatever colors she wanted. I love that the watercolors are big - perfect for little hands.
Yesterday, we made Mary name cookies using our wonderful new alphabet cookie cutters. We made pumpkin rollout cookies... my favorite recipe for cut-out cookies. It is wonderful to work with and doesn't tear and stick horribly the way some rollout doughs do. And - it has pumpkin in it! Agan, I sub Sucanat for brown sugar and sub some whole wheat pastry flour for the white, and it becomes more nutritious... until we put some frosting on them, that is!
Caroline likes to use her own little rolling pin.
Ready to go into the oven...
Mmm, licking the beaters! This is right after we made the frosting for the cookies... a cream cheese frosting. I just made a small amount using half a block of cream cheese, a couple tablespoons of butter, 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla, and about a half cup of powdered sugar - which made it plenty sweet, I thought, despite the fact that the recipe called for a full cup of the sugar!
Caroline helps to frost the cookies
We tinted some of the frosting blue and left some white... I am really wanting some all-natural food coloring and sprinkles. I rarely use food coloring because I don't like my kids to eat it... actually, I didn't let Cecilia have any of the blue cookies anyway! I also left a few plain, too.
Here's Caroline's finished watercolor painting - we hung it up on the china cabinet in the dining room.
And, I finally made the chasuble for Marian feast days for our wooden priest. Technically, priests doesn't wear blue on these days except in shrines dedicated to Mary... I think. But, our priest isn't in a specific church, so I thought the blue-trimmed chasuble would be helpful in reinforcing the Marian feasts throughout the year. I really like how this one turned out, with the blue and gold... and now I wish I'd made the others a bit more fancy, too!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Inspiration for Homeschoolers
This is beautifully written - a message that is important, especially for larger homeschooling families (and really, for any family with young children). I got it from a somewhat-local Catholic homeschool group, and it came from this blog (although I cannot find the particular post). Enjoy!
And I apologize for the messed-up formatting... I can never get it to look right when I copy/paste into my blog...
One morning on my daily walk, I was fretting and stewing over what I could
possibly do with my one-year-old during school time. I was feeling some despair
with a new baby on its way. I couldn't see any end to the disruption of babies
in my home school for many years to come. I was praying and scheming at the same
time: I could wait until the baby's nap to teach school, I could rotate the
children with baby-sitting chore away from our schoolroom, I could get a playpen
. . . all solutions that didn't feel right--babies needs their moms!
As I walked and pondered, suddenly the Lord introduced one sentence to my mind
and revolutionized my mindset entirely! "The baby IS the lesson!" I thought I
was trying to teach Math, but in reality I had been teaching, day by day, how an
adult values the precious gift of children. My children, by watching how I deal
with the frustration of a crying baby or keep a toddler happy and busy with some
of his "own" pieces while we play a math game, are soaking up "the lesson".
Unfortunately, I had occasionally been teaching that the baby interrupts our
learning.
How to be a Christlike person is the most valuable lesson a child could ever
learn! The lesson is learned moment by moment; watching a parent being patient,
handling frustration with kindness, pressing on for the goal in spite of
numerous interruptions, valuing each child's needs regardless of inconvenience.
That valuable insight--how Mother handles the baby is the real lesson--has
dramatically changed how I view my home school. I am teaching foremost my
values: godly character, kindness, respect for others, individuality, sacrifice
and a host of other Christlike attributes. Teaching them reading, writing, math,
etc. is very important to me but my perspective has been altered. "Mimic me,
follow me and I will show you the way a Christlike person acts and what he
values". That is the message every parent relays to their children whether they
are aware of it or not. Children try to copy everything anyway (our mannerisms,
our daily activities, etc.). We must
be certain that we are providing a correct pattern for them to copy, not only
in our daily activities but in our attitude, our tone of voice, and our facial
expression. We need to conduct our lives so that we can say "follow me". If our
children are to "buy" our values, what a tremendous responsibility we have to
make sure we are living our best so the lesson is clear and well learned! What
more could you ask for from your homeschool than to produce Christlike people?!
Teaching your children basically means getting your own personal life in order
and striving daily to be the leader for them to follow. Of course, we fall short
and they must look to Christ for the perfect being but they need to see daily
how one acts, speaks, lives, solves problems. We are acting as a proxy, in a
sense, for Christ. Since they can't have his daily role model, then he has given
his children parents to be an example, to point the way. Along with lesson
preparations, we need to prepare ourselves by asking: is the pattern I live the
way Christ would act? Can I say today that I have marked the path for my
children to follow? Children learn from seeing their parent's role model.
Watching an adult make a simple mistake (such as being too punitive with a
child) and go through the process of repenting is 100 times more effective than
your devotional lesson on repentance. This means children must be intimately
involved with you in your daily life.
A few hours a day after school won't do it.
Children should be involved in the adult's life rather than daily life rotating
around the children. Research has shown that children who have grown up to be
productive well-adjusted adults are those who have been drawn into the parent's
world; their daily activities, work, and interests; rather than having parents
who centered their world on the child. When I began home schooling, I never
could find the time to do the things I felt were important for my life; such as
writing in my journal, corresponding with relatives, studying my scriptures, and
more. Somehow, in my busy-ness of trying to teach the kids how to write in their
journals, I was neglecting my own journal writing. Thankfully, we now have
journal writing time in school daily, and we write letters to relatives together
as a family on Sunday. Homeschool life should help parents do the daily
necessities, rather than usurp the time needed for them. Home maintenance,
chores, food preparation,
gardening, food preservation, budgeting, clothing care (mending and sewing),
planning family social relationships, caring for small children, record keeping,
quilting, wallpapering, etc. are all wonderful life skills that can be done
together that enhance a child's education!
The parent's joyful task is to lead and guide the child into the real world--not
set up a contrived pseudo-world to teach skills that the children would easily
learn if they spent their time around adults who were striving to live good
lives. What constitutes an adult trying to live a "good life"? Being a
productive adult would constitute a full-time curriculum! Plant a garden, read
good literature, serve the needy, be politically aware, keep a journal, vote for
honest men, develop your talents, etc. The exciting part about leading a child
into the real world is that they are self-motivated. The moment I sit down to
play the piano, all my children want to play and want me to teach them to play
something. No sooner than I begin typing on the computer, I have the whole
family "needing" to type. My efforts at writing have, humorous to me, stimulated
the production of "books" from my youngest children. Modeling is so much more
effective than lecturing.
Studies show that the biggest determining factor for a child's success in
reading in school is if they have seen a parent reading in the home on a regular
basis. This is especially true for boys if the parent who reads is their father,
rather than their mother. Somehow, the example says far more about the value of
reading than endless hours in school reading groups.
In every area, it takes instruction to teach skills to little people. Children
need to master the basic academic skills (reading, writing, arithmetic), social
manners, music competence, and a host of other abilities and that does take
focused concentration and time from mother/teacher to accomplish. It isn't
realized just by living in a family. But shared family life practices and
contributes to those skills. Having taught my little girl the numbers and the
plus, minus and equal signs and how they worked, she jumped right into figuring
out how many plates she needed to set the table using her new skills: ("We have
9 and the boys are gone to college so that is minus 3, so we need six").
When we think of homeschool, sometimes we get tunnel vision, and think
"academics", "keeping up to speed" and other worrisome concerns that don't
really tell the whole story. Homeschool is the growing and nurturing of fine,
upright people. So, how we treat and value the baby really is the lesson.
Class never dismissed.
-Diane Hopkins
And I apologize for the messed-up formatting... I can never get it to look right when I copy/paste into my blog...
The Baby IS The Lesson
One morning on my daily walk, I was fretting and stewing over what I could
possibly do with my one-year-old during school time. I was feeling some despair
with a new baby on its way. I couldn't see any end to the disruption of babies
in my home school for many years to come. I was praying and scheming at the same
time: I could wait until the baby's nap to teach school, I could rotate the
children with baby-sitting chore away from our schoolroom, I could get a playpen
. . . all solutions that didn't feel right--babies needs their moms!
As I walked and pondered, suddenly the Lord introduced one sentence to my mind
and revolutionized my mindset entirely! "The baby IS the lesson!" I thought I
was trying to teach Math, but in reality I had been teaching, day by day, how an
adult values the precious gift of children. My children, by watching how I deal
with the frustration of a crying baby or keep a toddler happy and busy with some
of his "own" pieces while we play a math game, are soaking up "the lesson".
Unfortunately, I had occasionally been teaching that the baby interrupts our
learning.
How to be a Christlike person is the most valuable lesson a child could ever
learn! The lesson is learned moment by moment; watching a parent being patient,
handling frustration with kindness, pressing on for the goal in spite of
numerous interruptions, valuing each child's needs regardless of inconvenience.
That valuable insight--how Mother handles the baby is the real lesson--has
dramatically changed how I view my home school. I am teaching foremost my
values: godly character, kindness, respect for others, individuality, sacrifice
and a host of other Christlike attributes. Teaching them reading, writing, math,
etc. is very important to me but my perspective has been altered. "Mimic me,
follow me and I will show you the way a Christlike person acts and what he
values". That is the message every parent relays to their children whether they
are aware of it or not. Children try to copy everything anyway (our mannerisms,
our daily activities, etc.). We must
be certain that we are providing a correct pattern for them to copy, not only
in our daily activities but in our attitude, our tone of voice, and our facial
expression. We need to conduct our lives so that we can say "follow me". If our
children are to "buy" our values, what a tremendous responsibility we have to
make sure we are living our best so the lesson is clear and well learned! What
more could you ask for from your homeschool than to produce Christlike people?!
Teaching your children basically means getting your own personal life in order
and striving daily to be the leader for them to follow. Of course, we fall short
and they must look to Christ for the perfect being but they need to see daily
how one acts, speaks, lives, solves problems. We are acting as a proxy, in a
sense, for Christ. Since they can't have his daily role model, then he has given
his children parents to be an example, to point the way. Along with lesson
preparations, we need to prepare ourselves by asking: is the pattern I live the
way Christ would act? Can I say today that I have marked the path for my
children to follow? Children learn from seeing their parent's role model.
Watching an adult make a simple mistake (such as being too punitive with a
child) and go through the process of repenting is 100 times more effective than
your devotional lesson on repentance. This means children must be intimately
involved with you in your daily life.
A few hours a day after school won't do it.
Children should be involved in the adult's life rather than daily life rotating
around the children. Research has shown that children who have grown up to be
productive well-adjusted adults are those who have been drawn into the parent's
world; their daily activities, work, and interests; rather than having parents
who centered their world on the child. When I began home schooling, I never
could find the time to do the things I felt were important for my life; such as
writing in my journal, corresponding with relatives, studying my scriptures, and
more. Somehow, in my busy-ness of trying to teach the kids how to write in their
journals, I was neglecting my own journal writing. Thankfully, we now have
journal writing time in school daily, and we write letters to relatives together
as a family on Sunday. Homeschool life should help parents do the daily
necessities, rather than usurp the time needed for them. Home maintenance,
chores, food preparation,
gardening, food preservation, budgeting, clothing care (mending and sewing),
planning family social relationships, caring for small children, record keeping,
quilting, wallpapering, etc. are all wonderful life skills that can be done
together that enhance a child's education!
The parent's joyful task is to lead and guide the child into the real world--not
set up a contrived pseudo-world to teach skills that the children would easily
learn if they spent their time around adults who were striving to live good
lives. What constitutes an adult trying to live a "good life"? Being a
productive adult would constitute a full-time curriculum! Plant a garden, read
good literature, serve the needy, be politically aware, keep a journal, vote for
honest men, develop your talents, etc. The exciting part about leading a child
into the real world is that they are self-motivated. The moment I sit down to
play the piano, all my children want to play and want me to teach them to play
something. No sooner than I begin typing on the computer, I have the whole
family "needing" to type. My efforts at writing have, humorous to me, stimulated
the production of "books" from my youngest children. Modeling is so much more
effective than lecturing.
Studies show that the biggest determining factor for a child's success in
reading in school is if they have seen a parent reading in the home on a regular
basis. This is especially true for boys if the parent who reads is their father,
rather than their mother. Somehow, the example says far more about the value of
reading than endless hours in school reading groups.
In every area, it takes instruction to teach skills to little people. Children
need to master the basic academic skills (reading, writing, arithmetic), social
manners, music competence, and a host of other abilities and that does take
focused concentration and time from mother/teacher to accomplish. It isn't
realized just by living in a family. But shared family life practices and
contributes to those skills. Having taught my little girl the numbers and the
plus, minus and equal signs and how they worked, she jumped right into figuring
out how many plates she needed to set the table using her new skills: ("We have
9 and the boys are gone to college so that is minus 3, so we need six").
When we think of homeschool, sometimes we get tunnel vision, and think
"academics", "keeping up to speed" and other worrisome concerns that don't
really tell the whole story. Homeschool is the growing and nurturing of fine,
upright people. So, how we treat and value the baby really is the lesson.
Class never dismissed.
-Diane Hopkins
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Labor Day 2009
We had a fun family day for Labor Day this year. First, we all went to the playground so the girls could run around for about an hour before lunch. Then we went the to the Knights of Columbus Labor Day BBQ. which they do annually as a fundraiser. It is hugely popular in our town... we got there a little before noon and got some barbequed pork and chicken along with baked beans, brunswick stew, and Texas toast. The youth group also has a bake sale there, so we gave them a little business as well.Then it was on to the lake!
Isn't it in a pretty spot? It is between the mountains. The lake is about 20 minutes from our house, over a mountain. The orange tubing out in the water marks the swimming area.
Caroline kicking along
Cecilia enjoying floating in the water - still a water bug!
Caroline was quite the water bug as well!
I dug a "seal pool" for the girls... they are still loving the toy seals from Target's dollar spot. Best $2 I've spent in a long time... Cecilia promptly sat in the pool, of course.
After the lake, we stopped at Chick-fil-A for their free chicken sandwich promotion yesterday - wear a sports team logo to the restaurant and get a free sandwich! And that wrapped up our family fun day!I hope everyone else had a nice Labor Day this year!!
Monday, September 07, 2009
Circle Time
I have been working on coming up with a simple, fun, non-academic Circle Time to use with Caroline and Cecilia (mostly Caroline, since Cecilia participates only briefly before she decides to wander off or that she wants to nurse, although she starts excited shouting, "Time! Time!" when we return from our walk). Next year we will begin Kindergarten with Caroline, and I wanted Circle Time to become an enjoyable part of the day before then. I already established a daily routine about six months ago, and I added Circle Time in after our morning walk so we'd have a settling activity together after coming inside.
Here is a peek at what we are doing this month:
*** Circle Time Plans ~ September ***
Gathering Song(s): Mr. Sun
Skidamarinkadinkadink (one of Cecilia's faves)
Finger Plays:
- Five Little Monkeys Sitting in a Tree
- Apples
- ‘Round the Apple Tree
Calendar:
- Days of the Week/Months of the Year song
- Vestments on priest in daily liturgical color
- Saint of the Day magnet (once I get my saint stickers in the mail and make the magnets, that is!)
Seasonal Hymn:
Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee
Lift High the Cross (around the Feast of the Triumph of the Cross)
Puppet or Felt Board Story:
The Gigantic Turnip
I also thought it'd be nice to start using our library and checking out some seasonal books each month. I focused on apples this month. We will be taking a trip to an apple orchard in a couple weeks, too. Pulling out books on saints for the month is part of the plan as well. The books in the list below are some ideas... our library doesn't have all of them, and neither do I!
Books:
- Apple Cider Making Days
- How to Make and Apple Pie and See the World
- Ten Apples Up on Top!
- Apple Farmer Annie
- St. Jerome and the Lion
- Mother Theresa
Here are a couple of cute apple poems/songs that I found online to sing during Circle Time...
APPLES
Apples here (point to yourself)
Apples there (point away)
Apples are growing everywhere (hands form a circle...the world)
Some are high (point up)
Some are low (point down)
You will see apples wherever you go (point to eyes)
Apples on the left (extend left arm)
Apples on the right (extend right arm)
You will see (point to eyes again)
Both day and night (Hands together and head
down on them)
ROUND THE APPLE TREE
Play a singing circle game to the tune of "Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush." Children skip in a circle, holding hands, while singing the first verse.
Verse 1:
Here we go round the apple tree,
The apple tree, the apple tree.
Here we go round the apple tree,
So early in the morning.
Verse 2: This is the way we plant the seeds
Verse 3: This is the way the little seed sprouts
Verse 4: This is the way it grows to a tree
Verse 5: This is the way the flowers blossom
Verse 6: This is the way the apples grow
Verse 7: This is the way the apples are picked
I also plan to continue doing seasonal crafts regarding the liturgical year or something seasonal, like apples this month. We did some apple prints last week. We'll try to have a weekly baking day as we have been doing in the past - this week, it will be a birthday cake for Mary. We'll make some apple bread and/or muffins with our freshly-picked Elijay apples in a couple weeks.
My hope is to be structured yet informal...
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Our September Family Altar
I am still not sure that I want to call it a family altar... Liturgical display? Monthly prayer corner? Hmmm...Anyway, for September, we have some holy cards for saints whose feast days fall this month: Blessed Mother Theresa (technically not yet a saint), Saint Pio, and St. Michael the Archangel (don't ask me how he is both a saint and an archangel - still haven't figured that one out myself. if you know, please do share!). We also have a card of the Seven Sorrows of Mary, which is this month's dedication (and the feast day of Our Lady of Sorrows falls on the 15th). We have a cross hanging up for the Feast of the Triumph of the Cross. Our priest and vocations prayers are still there as a reminder of the Year of the Priest. I also have out a Guardian Angel candle... the feast of the guardian Angels isn't until October 2, but I just found this candle today at Wal-Mart and set it out already...
The Joy of Free Stuff
I used to collect travel brochures... and menus from restaurants, and printed napkins, and matchbooks, and comment cards, and table tents, and maps, and anything else that was free and made of paper that I found while traveling. I have recently finished going through all the 12 or so shoeboxes full of this stuff - just finished tonight, in fact! I wonder if anyone will want it if I post it on Freecycle?
Whaddaya have, whaddaya have?
(okay, so maybe only Atlantans will get this...)
Yeah, there were straws and plastic spoons in there, too... you may have noticed the trademark Baskin-Robins pink on the spoon sticking out from behind Cecilia. Caroline has some random slushie cup, and Cecilia is holding a Flying J cup (my favorite truck stop... for some reason I can't quite remember). I think they were pretending to eat ice cream... at least, Caroline was, and so Cecilia was imitating her.
Ahh, all my free travel junk - which I am sure my mother rolled her eyes about 15 years ago, but I thank her for not stifling my innocent, cheap "hobby" - and for a brief time, it brought joy to my girls as well.
I am keeping some of the cups, menus, and hotel stuff... it could be fun down the road for some imaginative games of restaurant and hotel!
Whaddaya have, whaddaya have?(okay, so maybe only Atlantans will get this...)
Collecting this free junk brought me so much simple joy. I don't know why... maybe because I was a teenager then, and teens do weird and random things? But as I am now thirty years old, I figured I should part with most of it and only keep what was potentially useful (like for future homeschooling projects) or what was of sentimental value (like brochures from places I have visited). I put the extra Varsity hat in the girls' dress-up clothes, and I tossed the duplicate cups (yes, I had duplicates! A matched set of four Days Inn cups, each individually wrapped!) and the ones with no sentimental value on the floor. The girls picked them up and began an imaginative game.
Yeah, there were straws and plastic spoons in there, too... you may have noticed the trademark Baskin-Robins pink on the spoon sticking out from behind Cecilia. Caroline has some random slushie cup, and Cecilia is holding a Flying J cup (my favorite truck stop... for some reason I can't quite remember). I think they were pretending to eat ice cream... at least, Caroline was, and so Cecilia was imitating her.
Ahh, all my free travel junk - which I am sure my mother rolled her eyes about 15 years ago, but I thank her for not stifling my innocent, cheap "hobby" - and for a brief time, it brought joy to my girls as well.I am keeping some of the cups, menus, and hotel stuff... it could be fun down the road for some imaginative games of restaurant and hotel!
Friday, September 04, 2009
August Birthdays Weekend!
We recently took an extended weekend trip to Tennessee to visit Chris's family. Here's an aerial shot of the cousins playing with Chris's old Little People car garage!
Check out this gorgeous cake - it was made by a former neighbor of the Lewis family who is now all grown up and makes cakes professionally!
Look at how tall it was!!!Next, we have some random shots of those of us who have August birthdays... There were about four different cameras going here, so we are all looking in various directions and never at the correct camera, of course.
Cecilia eats her cake, er, her Purely Os and puffed kamut
Everybody eating cake and handing out/reading birthday cards. Cecilia had moved to a confined location due to a request for blueberries.
Caroline delivers a birthday card to Grandad
After the cake, Caroline showed Great Uncle Larry and Great Aunt Shirley some of the toys downstairs, like the vintage My Little Ponies.
Rub a dub dub, three cousins in a tub(the only shot with all three of them looking)
On the way home, we stopped at the children's museum in Murfreesboro. It is only $5 each for admission, with Cecilia still being free until age 2. Much cheaper than the CDM in Chattanooga! Cecilia really liked the toy tiger that we found in the water play area.
Caroline opens up some gates for her boat to pass through
Water, water, everywhere! (click on photo to get the full effect!)
There is a new section in which the kids can deliver mail to various stores and houses. There is a little post office with bags and a big mailbox, and each little building has a mailbox on the outside. Looks like Cecilia is delivering Kroger's mail to Home Depot.
Caroline loads up a bag full of envelopes
Cecilia enjoys the music store
Cecilia meets some turtles
Firefighter Caroline
Cecilia in the fossil dig area... she loves to play with little rocks and is generally good about not trying to eat them.
One of the favorite parts... the big twirly slide that goes from the second floor down to the first floor. The sign says the slide is not recommended for children under age two, but then again, the very same type of slide in the CDM says it is for ages 18 months and up. Cecilia handled it just fine - twice! She is pretty adventurous about things like this!The morning at the museum wore them out enough that they both napped for over an hour on the way home - a rarity! Cecilia actually woke up a couple times but went right back to sleep with some singing from me, she was still so exhausted from all the playing!
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